I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
