so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
