Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
