What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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