thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize