Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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