Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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