I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
