its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
