Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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