And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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