Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
