how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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