he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
