They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
