i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
