But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
