Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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