so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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