I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
