You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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