Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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