First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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