i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
