y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize