Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
