Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize