I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize