It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
