the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
