and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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