What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
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