so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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