I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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