There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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