Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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