Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm always down for nudity.
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