so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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