I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
