You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You made out with two different species that night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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