I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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