Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You're a waste of cheezeits
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize