I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
