apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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