I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
