and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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