no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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