You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
