Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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