She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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