Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
