You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
we're so committed to being not committed
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
