Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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