I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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