Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
