Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
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