they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
