I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize