Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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