I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
