If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
